Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
