Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
