i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
