You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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