You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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