There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
