Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
im about as happy as oj after his trial
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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