I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So vagazzling was a success
Who died my cat blue again?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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