I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
