My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
