i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
