Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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