So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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