We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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