We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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