Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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