After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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