she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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