I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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