im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
