He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
