Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Umm I'm too high to move.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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