...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
