I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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