dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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