Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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