maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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