I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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