Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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