so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
