i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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