He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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