On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
