there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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