he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
