Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
