just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
