you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize