I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
