So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My cat gives me a boner
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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