Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
