I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
where am i from again
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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