I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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