just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
