Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
