is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
