yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
