Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
