doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
