i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
