I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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