Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
