I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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