No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
