This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He did a backflip because drugs
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
