Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
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she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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