You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize