i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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