You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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