Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
