Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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