ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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