i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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