margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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